My Goals For Writing

  • In my next essay, use more text evidence, and relate back to the story more.
  • Next time I free write, write a fictional story.
  • Use 3 words from the class list on moodle in each piece.
  • In my next piece correctly use a semicolon.
  • Next time I write, try to write something other than a poem.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Dreams/Odysseus

Author's Note- My poet is W.S. Merwin who wrote Odysseus. Odysseus is about history repeating itself over time, tricks, hope, loyalty, traitors and becoming one. I wrote about dreams. Dreams being dreams, of what you can become or being stories you have thought of, with "What if?" beginnings and endings. Dreams from long ago that are forgotten and later rediscovered and remembered. I tried to use the same line patterns as W.S Merwin, so please let me know how I did. Thanks for reading.

Dreams
Never having any limits to break,
No restrictions, no story dreamed unwritten
As it had never been thought of before.
Later forgotten over time
Then remembered, by something
That triggers a memory, and keeps living
Recreating the fantasy. There were the people
Each important in their way through your story
To be created, and one to be "real"
Everything that could have happened
Imagined into being real
Or not. Although its not. But sometimes thinking
That it is life forgotten
Which is really just a story actualized
Adventures that will never happen,
And considered, alive, reality, and lies,
Is there ever an awakening?

Odysseus
Always the setting forth was the same,
Same sea, same dangers waiting for him
As though he had got nowhere but older.
Behind him on the receding shore
The identical reproaches, and somewhere
Out before him, the unraveling patience
He was wedded to.  There were the islands
Each with its woman and twining welcome
To be navigated, and one to call ``home.''
The knowledge of all that he betrayed
Grew till it was the same whether he stayed
Or went.  Therefore he went.  And what wonder
If sometimes he could not remember
Which was the one who wished on his departure
Perils that he could never sail through,
And which, improbable, remote, and true,
Was the one he kept sailing home to?

9 comments:

  1. Erin,

    I really like your poem. The theme and point in yours mimics Merwin's, but I can still feel some of you in it. You write in a very mature voice, and I think that if you try more poems like this, it could really enhance your writing. Good job!

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  2. I thought you did a good job keeping the same voice, and structure as Merwin's without copying his poem too closely. For example if his poem says, "Same sea, same dangers waiting for him," you didn't have nouns and verbs in the same places as he did, which a lot of people did, and I think that is copying a poet too closely. Good job.

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  3. I really enjoyed reading your poem and thought you did a very good job mimicking your poets style. Your point came across clearly also. What envisioned when I read it was someone who was so lost and captivated by a dream world they didn't want to come back to the real one, kind of like that girl in Inception. Good job!

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  4. You did a really good job coming up with an idea. It almost seemed like you had a similar idea to his poem because you mentioned the dreams repeating themselves and his poem was about events repeating themselves. Good job!

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  5. Erin this was amazing! I loved it and I 100% agree with everyone else. The ending of your poem really gave it an interesting kind of twist for me which made me love it even more! Nice job!

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  6. This poem is really good and feels like a parallel poem to Odysseus. I liked the ending and it makes it seem like it should continue further rather than ending so soon.

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  7. I really like this poem, Erin. i like how you chose a topic similar to Merwin's and you emulated very well. This poem really made me think about dreams more than I usually do. Great piece.

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  8. The whole idea about dreams and memories repeating themselves was amazing. I love your writing, because its something that I don't think anybody else in this class has. Great job on your poem; the ideas were awesomeee and it flowed together very well:)

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  9. If anyone else reads this, can you please leave a "mean" comment, which will actually help me fix something and make me better, because the rest seem pointless. Although thanks for reading:)

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