Author's Note- In this book, a man has twins. The son is normal although the daughter has down syndrome and he gives her away as though she is nothing.
What if you were one of two
But in the mind of another
Only half
A half which doesn’t matter
Although it does
Because a half plus another
Equals one
A half though
Somewhere else
or here
Could be someone else's
two
Natalie,
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool piece! I love how you played with the number theme and how it connects with what you are really trying to say. I also love how at the end it kind of confuses the reader but it doesn't even matter because it was written really well. Nice job!
Omg I mean erin!!!! Sorry!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you play with the same words in this piece but in different ways. It makes it sound really interesting. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI agree with both of these comments so far. I think the only thing that I would add on is the end when Sophia pointed out that it confuses the reader, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. In this case, you've portrayed the message and when it gets a little confusing at the end, that's a good thing. You've taken the reader and put them in a general area that you want them in and then you made them think. It made me at least as a reader try to figure out what your ending point really is. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the ending to this piece, and how you kind of left it open to the reader to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you conveyed the topic in this piece. You took something general and added your own twist to it, which really makes the reader think. Like Brad said, the last stanza is my favorite, because the ending is so open. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI really love the way you use the words half and two, using fractions to write about relations. There is also a cool sort of e. e. cummings sound to this poem which I totally love. Excellent.
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